Shehnaj Parveen Sarma

Raising a happy, healthy child is one of the most challenging jobs a parent can have and also one of the most rewarding. Yet many of us don’t approach parenting with the same focus we would use for a job. We may act on our gut reactions or just use the same parenting techniques our own parents used, whether or not these were effective parenting skills.

Parenting is one of the most researched areas in the field of social science. No matter what your parenting style or what your parenting questions or concerns may be, from helping your child avoid becoming part of America’s child obesity epidemic to dealing with behavior problems, experts can help.

Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness .It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and encourages a desire to achieve. Good parenting also helps protect children from developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, antisocial behavior, and alcohol and drug abuse.

What does Parenting involve:

1. What you do matters.

Whether it’s your own health behaviors or the way you treat other people, your children are learning from what you do. .What you do makes a difference…Don’t just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result ?

2. Establish and set rules.

If you don’t manage your child’s behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren’t around.

3. Foster your child’s independence. Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she’s going to need both.

4. Be consistent.

If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable way or if you enforce them only intermittently children will remain confused on how to react . Be consistent with what you do over a period of time.

5. Avoid harsh discipline.

Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances. There are many other ways to discipline your child . Harsh punishments has long lasting effects on the child’s mental health.

6. Explain your rules and decisions. Because what is obvious to you may not be evident for your 10 or 12 years old.

7. Treat your child with respect.

The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat them  respectfully. You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for them relationships with others.

In spite of all the loving, caring and managing parenting at times can be super challenging and it’s not necessarily that we know it all . At the first instance of a minor warning that is coming to you please don’t delay and immediately seek advice.

Seek advice from people who know how to help and I’m sure working together with your coach or counsellor you will be able to find a fruitful solution to any of your problems.

Shehnaj Parveen Sarma from Guwahati practicing NLP counsellor and Life Coach and has a Facebook Page called Mind Triggers related to counselling.