Nar3us was an advanced 3kg A.I module developed by the highly advanced inhabitants of the planet Thuspay to recce intergalactic planetary systems. The module was a highly technical cybernetic coalesced gooey lump which could take up any form and metamorphosise into the creatures of the planets that it wanted to recce. A self-aware shape shifting computer par excellence. The ingrained algorithm prompted it to setup base around the highest concentration of biomaterial of the most advanced species on the planet. All its sensors had to do, was to scout for high concentration of peptides and amino acids.
Nar3us landed on earth 6 months back in the dull of the night, just before the twilight. Since its conception this was its first mission. It fell from the sky near a grey coloured building. Its desired goal of locating high concentration of amino acids (animal matter) led it to a massive hall-like structure. The grey structure had shimmering pictures of the finest specimen of the planet in their perfectly chiselled out shapes. Despite the dull of the night, loud blaring music could be heard, only to be interrupted by occasional grunts and shouts. The glimmer of hope of observing the master species now jiggled up its organic circuitry. Nar3us slithered into an air-vent into the roof of the otherwise dead pan structure. It had to be cautious of not being discovered. Its sensors now picked up slow advent of more of the specimens of the master species. Unlike the early birds, sunlight brought in specimens of various shapes and sizes. Some seem to be carved out of jiggly putty, some seemed like walking mudpies, some were lanky bamboo-like and so on.
Nar3us slithered across the airducts to find the perfect vantage point to observe these specimens in action. It found a perfect location overlooking the “mirror wall” where the specimens after moving material against the gravity would come and stare into. It observed that the master specie on earth had invented several machines to keep themselves running and strong. The behavioural range exuded by the master species was extreme and surprisingly new for receptors of Nar3us. It had never encountered such range of emotions on its planet Thuspay. Advanced species of Thuspay seemed useless to it now. They were bland, calculating, algorithmic and almost as lifeless as Nar3us itself. Here on earth was a new flavoured platter. Its organic A.I was already in a rebellious mood. It was not transmitting any data back to Thuspay despite repeated pings from its masters. It was immersing in this new rush. Thuspay-ians could have simply inferred that Nar3us module failed on landing and was not responding. But here Nar3us was feeling the rush, getting addicted.
Like a faithful voyeur, It would religiously stare at the master species of earth sweating it out on the floor and pumping the iron. It would try to mimic their shapes and movements in the airduct. It could grasp that some of them were glued to their reflection and spent more time clicking pictures than dissipating their stored energy in muscular tissues and apportioning of extra bodily nutrients in form of powders and syringes. The dominant specie seemed to have the most perfectly defined lifegoal. They were so obsessed with their looks that they were willing to die for the “perfection”; literally. This obsession for the first-time sparked curiosity and a sense of attraction, self-appreciation and obsession. Months passed and such observations from the airduct were arousing him.
It wanted to metamorphosise itself into the sexes of human species and perform ritualistic workouts on the altar of sweaty sacrifice. It wanted to admiringly observe itself in the mirror. Bathe in its own reflection and marvel at the shapely curves. It decided that on the completion of the 180th day it will slide down at midnight and execute its obsessive desires. It had planned all the nitty gritties but had to be only cautious of a drunk guard who used to sleep every day near the reception. Considering this to be a weekend, its calculation extrapolated that the guard would be shit drunk out of his mind and wouldn’t move a zilch, as their might be some noise of its slithering down from the vent and performing the ritualistic pumping of iron.
Clock struck midnight and Nar3us slithered down from the airduct, metamorphosised itself into a shape of the dominant specie. It was a bit confused as to choose between which of the two sexes. It quickly overcame that difficulty by metamorphosising into an androgynous shape- perfect admixture of both sexes. After a warmups and pumping schedule, nar3us started posing in front of the mirror wall. For the first time in its existence, it was aroused by looking at itself in the mirror. The thrill was addictive. It had earlier seen a couple making out in the vacant gym and had been quite piqued. It moved closer to the mirror to make out with itself.
Nar3us was so blinded by such a passionate rush. It dropped an iron plate which caused a loud noise, thus waking up the sloshed-out guard. The guard rushed to the gym in his drunken stupor, fumbling to find his baton stick. On entering the gym, he turned on the master lights and froze into shock on seeing a 3kg androgynous lump making out with itself against the mirror. In his drunken fit of rage, he swung the baton with full force and hit it right on Nar3us’s head when it was fully immersed in the act of making out with itself. One heavy blow was enough to disrupt the organic circuitry of the module. With its intelligence damaged, its body began liquidating into the gooey lump. The guard passed out of shock and drunkenness, while Nar3us disintegrated into a smelly fluid on the floor.
The early bird next morning fumed at the cleaning staff that the weights and the mirror had been soiled by some animal. The cheeky cleaner hurriedly mopped up the floor and flushed all the gooey liquid into the toilet.
Footnote- the short story is a work of fiction and a half-baked laughable attempt to satirise deeper social behaviour. Nar3us is a wordplay on Narcissus and Thuspay on Thespiae, Greece.