Three most essential elements of good conversation
Shehnaj Parveen Sarma
The quality of conversation that we share with other people is how they feel when they are with us and leaves behind an everlasting impression .
Do they feel heard ? Do they feel valued ? Most importantly, do they feel heard and emotionally connected?
Here are some tips to create better quality conversation and I’m sure that these will be truly worth :
- Learn the basics of nonverbal communication or how your physiology works
One study found that nonverbal communication accounted for 55 percent of how an audience perceived a presenter. That means that the majority of what you say is communicated not through words, but through physical cues.
To communicate clearly and confidently, adopt proper posture. Avoid slouching, folding your arms or making yourself appear smaller than you are. Instead, fill up the space you are given, maintain eye contact and (if appropriate) move around the space.
- Listen to understand
Most of us believe that we are good listeners , however this is quite a faulty assumption , often we listen not to understand but to prove our opinion right . We need to understand what the other person is saying by being consciously present in the conversation and listen to understand. This is when we open our hearts , and truly absorb what is being said . So, what kind of listener are you ?
- Don’t attack or criticise
Our words have enough power to create a long lasting impact especially in a emotionally charged situation. Often we may mean good but the words we use may create a totally opposite meaning .So when people feel criticised or attacked they tend close the conversation and become defensive. No communication is possible from this point of view so choose your words carefully and try to avoid words that would make the conversation a unvalued one .
- Try to practice pause
When you are upset or hurt there will be chances that your words and mannerisms might not support your feelings and intentions instead of bursting out in anger or any other emotions try to pause . Deeper the emotions deeper should be the pause.
Once you are calmer and more in control express your views and opinions clearly and meaningfully . This act is priceless and worth developing
Communicating clearly is one of the most effective skills you can cultivate for strengthening your relationships . Remember to communicate using nonverbal and verbal cues. Listen carefully to what others have to say, listen and don’t just hear , listen using whole body listening where you are consciously present during the conversation and make the conversation process more strong and more effective.
Shehnaj Parveen Sarma from Guwahati practicing NLP counsellor and Life Coach and has a Facebook Page called Mind Triggers related to counselling.